LV. HIS HELPLESSNESSWhere is any good for me? If there were any, would my mind wander in the paths of sin? Ten-armed Goddess, Mother, look, my body is a burden in the world. I have not worshipped you with red hibiscus[191] blooms, with bel leaves, with Ganges water. Neither to Gayā nor to Kāśī have I been. But, when death comes to seize me, I will cry Kālī, and yet again, Kālī. Twice-born Rāmprasād says: I am grass that floats on a stream. I cry out, Save me, Save me; who will bring me safe to shore? FOOTNOTES: [191] Offered to Kālī, because it is the colour of blood. LVI. KĀLĪ THE FENCE-MAKER Mind, why art thou away from the Mother's Feet? O Mind, think on Śakti, thou wilt get freedom. Bind thyself with the rope of devotion. Mind, thou hast eyes but they show her not. Ah, what a burnt brow is thine![192] The Mother, tricking her votary, came in his daughter's shape and fenced his home.[193] Our mothers' love is known at death. We die, and for two or three hours there is weeping enough, but at the end they sprinkle cowdung and finish. Brothers, friends, wife and children, these are but the roots of illusion. I die, and they send an earthen pot along with me, they throw eight cowries on my pyre.[194] They [65]take away my ornaments; all they take away. They put another cloth on my body, one that is square and full of holes.[195] Mother, he that meditates on thee with steadfast mind, he wins thee. Ah, come out and see how Tārā, disguised as his daughter, is building a fence for Rāmprasād! FOOTNOTES: [192] What a luckless fool thou art! [193] A legend current in the poet's lifetime. See p. 17. [194] The coin of the very poor; sixteen are reckoned to the pice (one farthing). It is used only in tallies now, and is no longer a coin. Cowries are thrown along the road in funeral processions, and on the pyre; this is a nominal giving of alms. [195] Literally, cut right across. This may be a reference to some funeral custom of Rāmprasād's time. We have failed to get an explanation.
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