Topic 63 Are difficult experiences valuable lessons for the future? Life experiences definitely (определенно) come in (поступать) many different forms and shapes

Life experiences definitely (определенно) come in (поступать) many different forms and shapes. They can be really sweet and really painful just as well. There is an opinion that sooner or later all of the above mentioned experiences would turn into valuable lessons of some kind.

You mustn't allow them to interfere with your business. — Ты не должен позволять им вмешиваться в твои дела.

I think it is a little naive and some what childish approach (подход). This is the way people want it to be, not the way it actually happens in real life. I am convinced that, unless some supernatural powers interfere, no experiences will start turning into anything of value. It seems to me that some efforts must be applied, because experience is not the sort of things that can come naturally, so to speak. To give an obvious example, if a student flunks (провалиться на экзамене) his or her examinations one day, and gets into big trouble with the faculty and the dean put together, how likely is this student to do well on the exams next term? It remains to be seen (Это еще предстоит выяснить), unless the student in question had given the whole thing some thought and decided to do everything possible not to get in such a jam over again. I suppose that if he hadn't done that, he would simply repeat the whole mess once more.

‘But, you see, we are on a peculiar mission and we have not known whom to trust.’ —

Поймите, мы занимаемся необычными поисками и не знаем, кому можем довериться.

Quite naturally (Вполне естественно), things don't work out this way all the time. There are people who do learn from their mistakes. The bad part about this very peculiar kind (очень специфический вид) of learning is that it always hurts, one way or another. If one has the habit of learning only after some first-hand experience, he will most certainly suffer from it. I personally can tell from my own experience that it's way more reasonable to stay on the safe side and avoid unpleasant experiences. Because when you have to deal with some of them you rarely think about all of the good things that can come with it some time in the remote future. What you really think about in such moments is how uncomfortable, upsetting and painful the whole experience is and how much it hurts to go through it.

 

Still I have to admit that (Тем не менее я должен признать, что) it can do you some good later on. But it's necessary to work on the difficult experiences that happen to you once in a while, if you really want them to turn into valuable lessons in the future. Gain is how we learn, said C.S. Lewis. That's the way things go. But not always, unfortunately. Sometimes people happen to die if the pain is too big. And therefore they don't learn anything anymore.

 

propel - побуждать, стимулировать; Dignity – достоинство; a curt – коротко; nursing - кормление ребёнка грудью;

out of embarrassment or unwillingness - из смущения или нежелания;

for the sake of our ego - ради нашего эго; unrelated - несвязанный, не имеющий отношения;

Topic 63 How to Learn from Mistakes

Nobody likes making mistakes. But, unless you want to go through life as a complete recluse (отшельник), you are guaranteed to make one every now and them. If you learn from mistakes correctly, they can propel will you forward. You must also realise that mistakes are an essential part of self improvement. Don’t be overwhelmed with guilt and regret, analyze how you can learn from them. Apologise with Dignity. If you’ve made mistakes that harm other people, it is important to offer a dignified apology. Be clear that it was an unfortunate incident that will not be repeated. A good apology can go along way to restoring trust. If you don’t apologize, out of embarrassment or unwillingness, the offended person will hold it against you. If your apology is sincere, the other person is likely to forgive you. It is more effective to apologize in person, rather than through a curt email. However, once you have apologised, it is mistake to repeatedly say sorry for the same mistake. Some people keep apologising over and over again. This becomes irritating. It is better to sincerely apologize once and then move on. http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/how-to-learn-from-mistakes/

Don’t be a Perfectionist: If you go through life afraid to make a mistake, you’ll spend most of your life doing absolutely nothing. There is no harm in making mistakes, it is an essential part of going forward. The more responsibility you take on, the more likely you will make mistakes. If you feel the need to avoid mistakes at all costs, it becomes a psychological barrier to taking risks. If you make a mistake, don’t retreat into a shell (ракушка).

Don’t Waste Time Trying to Justify (оправдать) Mistakes: Unfortunately, it is our natural instinct to try to justify our actions. When you make a mistake, the initial reaction is to blame someone else. “Yes, I drove my car into the wall, but it was all my partners fault for distracting me with her incessant gossiping (непрерывная болтовня)…” When mistakes are made, the boss is unlikely to be interested in justifications (обоснованиях). We justify mistakes for the sake of our ego. Sometimes it is best to say, very simply — yes, I made a mistake.

Understand Why The Mistake Occurred: Mistakes occur for various reasons. To avoid repeating them, you need to understand the underlying reason. For example, you may have spoken in anger and haste (спешке); the mistake here is to say unkind words. However, what led you to be angry in the first place? Perhaps you were chronically tired, or perhaps you were nursing an unrelated grievance (обида). If you make mistakes because you are permanently tired, try to get more sleep; if you are permanently stressed, look at ways to relax and detach (отстраняться) from the stress of work.

Avoid Repeating Mistakes: You should avoid feeling guilty about making mistakes, but at the same time, you should make a resolution to learn from them. If you repeat the same mistakes, it shows you aren’t making progress and causes repeated suffering. Often mistakes are caused by bad habits. To avoid making the same mistakes you need to break these bad habits. This requires careful consideration and sustained effort to change your way of thinking. However, the sooner you change your habits, the sooner you will avoid making the same mistakes.

Mistakes are Opportunities to Learn: From your own mistakes you can gain wisdom and accelerate self-improvement. Mistakes, because of their relationship with risk taking, are essential to success. The important thing is to view mistakes as a useful stepping stone to a higher reality and better outlook on life (лучший взгляд на жизнь).