JANE AUSTEN 17 страница

for a lady, -- only think what fun! Not a soul knew of it but

Col. and Mrs. Forster, and Kitty and me, except my aunt, for we

were forced to borrow one of her gowns; and you cannot imagine

how well he looked! When Denny, and Wickham, and Pratt, and

two or three more of the men came in, they did not know him in

the least. Lord! how I laughed! and so did Mrs. Forster.

I thought I should have died. And _that_ made the men suspect

something, and then they soon found out what was the matter."

 

With such kind of histories of their parties and good jokes did

Lydia, assisted by Kitty's hints and additions, endeavour to

amuse her companions all the way to Longbourn. Elizabeth

listened as little as she could, but there was no escaping the

frequent mention of Wickham's name.

 

Their reception at home was most kind. Mrs. Bennet rejoiced to

see Jane in undiminished beauty; and more than once during

dinner did Mr. Bennet say voluntarily to Elizabeth,

 

"I am glad you are come back, Lizzy."

 

Their party in the dining-room was large, for almost all the

Lucases came to meet Maria and hear the news: and various were

the subjects which occupied them. Lady Lucas was enquiring of

Maria, across the table, after the welfare and poultry of her

eldest daughter; Mrs. Bennet was doubly engaged, on one hand

collecting an account of the present fashions from Jane, who

sat some way below her, and on the other, retailing them all to

the younger Miss Lucases; and Lydia, in a voice rather louder

than any other person's, was enumerating the various pleasures

of the morning to any body who would hear her.

 

"Oh! Mary," said she, "I wish you had gone with us, for we had

such fun! as we went along, Kitty and me drew up all the

blinds, and pretended there was nobody in the coach; and I

should have gone so all the way, if Kitty had not been sick;

and when we got to the George, I do think we behaved very

handsomely, for we treated the other three with the nicest cold

luncheon in the world, and if you would have gone, we would

have treated you too. And then when we came away it was such

fun! I thought we never should have got into the coach. I was

ready to die of laughter. And then we were so merry all the

way home! we talked and laughed so loud, that any body might

have heard us ten miles off!"

 

To this, Mary very gravely replied, "Far be it from me, my dear

sister, to depreciate such pleasures. They would doubtless be

congenial with the generality of female minds. But I confess

they would have no charms for me. I should infinitely prefer a

book."

 

But of this answer Lydia heard not a word. She seldom listened

to any body for more than half a minute, and never attended to

Mary at all.

 

In the afternoon Lydia was urgent with the rest of the girls to

walk to Meryton, and see how every body went on; but Elizabeth

steadily opposed the scheme. It should not be said, that the

Miss Bennets could not be at home half a day before they were

in pursuit of the officers. There was another reason too, for

her opposition. She dreaded seeing Wickham again, and was

resolved to avoid it as long as possible. The comfort to _her_

of the regiment's approaching removal was indeed beyond

expression. In a fortnight they were to go, and once gone, she

hoped there could be nothing more to plague her on his account.

 

She had not been many hours at home, before she found that the

Brighton scheme, of which Lydia had given them a hint at the

inn, was under frequent discussion between her parents.

Elizabeth saw directly that her father had not the smallest

intention of yielding; but his answers were at the same time so

vague and equivocal, that her mother, though often

disheartened, had never yet despaired of succeeding at last.

 

__

 

<CHAPTER XVII (40)>

 

ELIZABETH'S impatience to acquaint Jane with what had happened

could no longer be overcome; and at length resolving to

suppress every particular in which her sister was concerned,

and preparing her to be surprised, she related to her the next

morning the chief of the scene between Mr. Darcy and herself.

 

Miss Bennet's astonishment was soon lessened by the strong

sisterly partiality which made any admiration of Elizabeth

appear perfectly natural; and all surprise was shortly lost in

other feelings. She was sorry that Mr. Darcy should have

delivered his sentiments in a manner so little suited to

recommend them; but still more was she grieved for the

unhappiness which her sister's refusal must have given him.

 

"His being so sure of succeeding, was wrong," said she; "and

certainly ought not to have appeared; but consider how much it

must increase his disappointment."

 

"Indeed," replied Elizabeth, "I am heartily sorry for him; but

he has other feelings which will probably soon drive away his

regard for me. You do not blame me, however, for refusing

him?"

 

"Blame you! Oh, no."

 

"But you blame me for having spoken so warmly of Wickham."

 

"No -- I do not know that you were wrong in saying what you

did."

 

"But you _will_ know it, when I have told you what happened the

very next day."

 

She then spoke of the letter, repeating the whole of its

contents as far as they concerned George Wickham. What a

stroke was this for poor Jane! who would willingly have gone

through the world without believing that so much wickedness

existed in the whole race of mankind, as was here collected in

one individual. Nor was Darcy's vindication, though grateful

to her feelings, capable of consoling her for such discovery.

Most earnestly did she labour to prove the probability of

error, and seek to clear one without involving the other.

 

"This will not do," said Elizabeth. "You never will be able

to make both of them good for any thing. Take your choice,

but you must be satisfied with only one. There is but such

a quantity of merit between them; just enough to make one

good sort of man; and of late it has been shifting about

pretty much. For my part, I am inclined to believe it all

Mr. Darcy's, but you shall do as you chuse."

 

It was some time, however, before a smile could be extorted

from Jane.

 

"I do not know when I have been more shocked," said she.

"Wickham so very bad! It is almost past belief. And poor Mr.

Darcy! dear Lizzy, only consider what he must have suffered.

Such a disappointment! and with the knowledge of your ill

opinion too! and having to relate such a thing of his sister!

It is really too distressing. I am sure you must feel it so."

 

"Oh! no, my regret and compassion are all done away by seeing

you so full of both. I know you will do him such ample

justice, that I am growing every moment more unconcerned and

indifferent. Your profusion makes me saving; and if you lament

over him much longer, my heart will be as light as a feather."

 

"Poor Wickham; there is such an expression of goodness in his

countenance! such an openness and gentleness in his manner."

 

"There certainly was some great mismanagement in the education

of those two young men. One has got all the goodness, and the

other all the appearance of it."

 

"I never thought Mr. Darcy so deficient in the _appearance_ of

it as you used to do."

 

"And yet I meant to be uncommonly clever in taking so decided a

dislike to him, without any reason. It is such a spur to one's

genius, such an opening for wit to have a dislike of that kind.

One may be continually abusive without saying any thing just;

but one cannot be always laughing at a man without now and then

stumbling on something witty."

 

"Lizzy when you first read that letter, I am sure you could not

treat the matter as you do now."

 

"Indeed I could not. I was uncomfortable enough. I was very

uncomfortable, I may say unhappy. And with no one to speak to

of what I felt, no Jane to comfort me and say that I had not

been so very weak and vain and nonsensical as I knew I had!

Oh! how I wanted you!"

 

"How unfortunate that you should have used such very strong

expressions in speaking of Wickham to Mr. Darcy, for now they

_do_ appear wholly undeserved."

 

"Certainly. But the misfortune of speaking with bitterness

is a most natural consequence of the prejudices I had been

encouraging. There is one point on which I want your advice.

I want to be told whether I ought, or ought not, to make our

acquaintance in general understand Wickham's character."

 

Miss Bennet paused a little and then replied, "Surely there can

be no occasion for exposing him so dreadfully. What is your

own opinion?"

 

"That it ought not to be attempted. Mr. Darcy has not

authorised me to make his communication public. On the

contrary, every particular relative to his sister was meant to

be kept as much as possible to myself; and if I endeavour to

undeceive people as to the rest of his conduct, who will

believe me? The general prejudice against Mr. Darcy is so

violent, that it would be the death of half the good people in

Meryton to attempt to place him in an amiable light. I am not

equal to it. Wickham will soon be gone; and therefore it will

not signify to anybody here, what he really is. Sometime hence

it will be all found out, and then we may laugh at their

stupidity in not knowing it before. At present I will say

nothing about it."

 

"You are quite right. To have his errors made public might

ruin him for ever. He is now perhaps sorry for what he has

done, and anxious to re-establish a character. We must not

make him desperate."

 

The tumult of Elizabeth's mind was allayed by this

conversation. She had got rid of two of the secrets which had

weighed on her for a fortnight, and was certain of a willing

listener in Jane, whenever she might wish to talk again of

either. But there was still something lurking behind, of which

prudence forbad the disclosure. She dared not relate the other

half of Mr. Darcy's letter, nor explain to her sister how

sincerely she had been valued by his friend. Here was

knowledge in which no one could partake; and she was sensible

that nothing less than a perfect understanding between the

parties could justify her in throwing off this last incumbrance

of mystery. "And then," said she, "if that very improbable

event should ever take place, I shall merely be able to tell

what Bingley may tell in a much more agreeable manner himself.

The liberty of communication cannot be mine till it has lost

all its value!"

 

She was now, on being settled at home, at leisure to observe

the real state of her sister's spirits. Jane was not happy.

She still cherished a very tender affection for Bingley.

Having never even fancied herself in love before, her regard

had all the warmth of first attachment, and, from her age and

disposition, greater steadiness than first attachments often

boast; and so fervently did she value his remembrance, and

prefer him to every other man, that all her good sense, and all

her attention to the feelings of her friends, were requisite to

check the indulgence of those regrets which must have been

injurious to her own health and their tranquillity.

 

"Well, Lizzy," said Mrs. Bennet one day, "what is your

opinion _now_ of this sad business of Jane's? For my part,

I am determined never to speak of it again to anybody. I told

my sister Philips so the other day. But I cannot find out

that Jane saw any thing of him in London. Well, he is a very

undeserving young man -- and I do not suppose there is the

least chance in the world of her ever getting him now. There

is no talk of his coming to Netherfield again in the summer;

and I have enquired of every body, too, who is likely to know."

 

"I do not believe that he will ever live at Netherfield any

more."

 

"Oh, well! it is just as he chooses. Nobody wants him to

come. Though I shall always say that he used my daughter

extremely ill; and if I was her, I would not have put up with

it. Well, my comfort is, I am sure Jane will die of a broken

heart, and then he will be sorry for what he has done."

 

But as Elizabeth could not receive comfort from any such

expectation, she made no answer.

 

"Well, Lizzy," continued her mother soon afterwards, "and so

the Collinses live very comfortable, do they? Well, well, I

only hope it will last. And what sort of table do they keep?

Charlotte is an excellent manager, I dare say. If she is half

as sharp as her mother, she is saving enough. There is nothing

extravagant in _their_ housekeeping, I dare say."

 

"No, nothing at all."

 

"A great deal of good management, depend upon it. Yes, yes.

_They_ will take care not to outrun their income. _They_ will

never be distressed for money. Well, much good may it do them!

And so, I suppose, they often talk of having Longbourn when

your father is dead. They look upon it quite as their own,

I dare say, whenever that happens."

 

"It was a subject which they could not mention before me."

 

"No. It would have been strange if they had. But I make no

doubt, they often talk of it between themselves. Well, if they

can be easy with an estate that is not lawfully their own, so

much the better. _I_ should be ashamed of having one that was

only entailed on me."

 

__

 

<CHAPTER XVIII (41)>

 

THE first week of their return was soon gone. The second

began. It was the last of the regiment's stay in Meryton, and

all the young ladies in the neighbourhood were drooping apace.

The dejection was almost universal. The elder Miss Bennets

alone were still able to eat, drink, and sleep, and pursue the

usual course of their employments. Very frequently were they

reproached for this insensibility by Kitty and Lydia, whose own

misery was extreme, and who could not comprehend such

hard-heartedness in any of the family.

 

"Good Heaven! What is to become of us! What are we to do!"

would they often exclaim in the bitterness of woe. "How can

you be smiling so, Lizzy?"

 

Their affectionate mother shared all their grief; she

remembered what she had herself endured on a similar occasion,

five and twenty years ago.

 

"I am sure," said she, "I cried for two days together when

Colonel Millar's regiment went away. I thought I should have

broke my heart."

 

"I am sure I shall break _mine_," said Lydia.

 

"If one could but go to Brighton!" observed Mrs. Bennet.

 

"Oh, yes! -- if one could but go to Brighton! But papa is so

disagreeable."

 

"A little sea-bathing would set me up for ever."

 

"And my aunt Philips is sure it would do me a great deal of

good," added Kitty.

 

Such were the kind of lamentations resounding perpetually

through Longbourn-house. Elizabeth tried to be diverted by

them; but all sense of pleasure was lost in shame. She felt

anew the justice of Mr. Darcy's objections; and never had she

before been so much disposed to pardon his interference in the

views of his friend.

 

But the gloom of Lydia's prospect was shortly cleared away;

for she received an invitation from Mrs. Forster, the wife of

the Colonel of the regiment, to accompany her to Brighton.

This invaluable friend was a very young woman, and very lately

married. A resemblance in good humour and good spirits had

recommended her and Lydia to each other, and out of their

_three_ months' acquaintance they had been intimate _two_.

 

The rapture of Lydia on this occasion, her adoration of

Mrs. Forster, the delight of Mrs. Bennet, and the mortification

of Kitty, are scarcely to be described. Wholly inattentive to

her sister's feelings, Lydia flew about the house in restless

ecstacy, calling for everyone's congratulations, and laughing

and talking with more violence than ever; whilst the luckless

Kitty continued in the parlour repining at her fate in terms as

unreasonable as her accent was peevish.

 

"I cannot see why Mrs. Forster should not ask _me_ as well as

Lydia," said she, "though I am _not_ her particular friend.

I have just as much right to be asked as she has, and more too,

for I am two years older."

 

In vain did Elizabeth attempt to reasonable, and Jane to make

her resigned. As for Elizabeth herself, this invitation was so

far from exciting in her the same feelings as in her mother and

Lydia, that she considered it as the death-warrant of all

possibility of common sense for the latter; and detestable as

such a step must make her were it known, she could not help

secretly advising her father not to let her go. She

represented to him all the improprieties of Lydia's general

behaviour, the little advantage she could derive from the

friendship of such a woman as Mrs. Forster, and the probability

of her being yet more imprudent with such a companion at

Brighton, where the temptations must be greater than at home.

He heard her attentively, and then said,

 

"Lydia will never be easy till she has exposed herself in some

public place or other, and we can never expect her to do it

with so little expense or inconvenience to her family as under

the present circumstances."

 

"If you were aware," said Elizabeth, "of the very great

disadvantage to us all, which must arise from the public notice

of Lydia's unguarded and imprudent manner; nay, which has

already arisen from it, I am sure you would judge differently

in the affair."

 

"Already arisen!" repeated Mr. Bennet. "What, has she

frightened away some of your lovers? Poor little Lizzy! But

do not be cast down. Such squeamish youths as cannot bear to

be connected with a little absurdity are not worth a regret.

Come, let me see the list of the pitiful fellows who have been

kept aloof by Lydia's folly."

 

"Indeed you are mistaken. I have no such injuries to resent,

It is not of peculiar, but of general evils, which I am now

complaining. Our importance, our respectability in the world,

must be affected by the wild volatility, the assurance and

disdain of all restraint which mark Lydia's character. Excuse

me -- for I must speak plainly. If you, my dear father, will

not take the trouble of checking her exuberant spirits, and of

teaching her that her present pursuits are not to be the

business of her life, she will soon be beyond the reach of

amendment. Her character will be fixed, and she will, at

sixteen, be the most determined flirt that ever made herself

and her family ridiculous. A flirt, too, in the worst and

meanest degree of flirtation; without any attraction beyond

youth and a tolerable person; and from the ignorance and

emptiness of her mind, wholly unable to ward off any portion of

that universal contempt which her rage for admiration will

excite. In this danger Kitty is also comprehended. She will

follow wherever Lydia leads. -- Vain, ignorant, idle, and

absolutely uncontrolled! Oh! my dear father, can you suppose

it possible that they will not be censured and despised

wherever they are known, and that their sisters will not be

often involved in the disgrace?"

 

Mr. Bennet saw that her whole heart was in the subject;

and affectionately taking her hand, said in reply,

 

"Do not make yourself uneasy, my love. Wherever you and Jane

are known, you must be respected and valued; and you will not

appear to less advantage for having a couple of -- or I may

say, three -- very silly sisters. We shall have no peace at

Longbourn if Lydia does not go to Brighton. Let her go then.

Colonel Forster is a sensible man, and will keep her out of any

real mischief; and she is luckily too poor to be an object of

prey to any body. At Brighton she will be of less importance,

even as a common flirt, than she has been here. The officers

will find women better worth their notice. Let us hope,

therefore, that her being there may teach her her own

insignificance. At any rate, she cannot grow many degrees

worse without authorizing us to lock her up for the rest of her

life."

 

With this answer Elizabeth was forced to be content; but her

own opinion continued the same, and she left him disappointed

and sorry. It was not in her nature, however, to increase her

vexations by dwelling on them. She was confident of having

performed her duty, and to fret over unavoidable evils, or

augment them by anxiety, was no part of her disposition.

 

Had Lydia and her mother known the substance of her conference

with her father, their indignation would hardly have found

expression in their united volubility. In Lydia's imagination,

a visit to Brighton comprised every possibility of earthly

happiness. She saw, with the creative eye of fancy, the

streets of that gay bathing place covered with officers. She

saw herself the object of attention to tens and to scores of

them at present unknown. She saw all the glories of the camp;

its tents stretched forth in beauteous uniformity of lines,

crowded with the young and the gay, and dazzling with scarlet;

and to complete the view, she saw herself seated beneath a

tent, tenderly flirting with at least six officers at once.

 

Had she known that her sister sought to tear her from such

prospects and such realities as these, what would have been

her sensations? They could have been understood only by her

mother, who might have felt nearly the same. Lydia's going

to Brighton was all that consoled her for the melancholy

conviction of her husband's never intending to go there

himself.

 

But they were entirely ignorant of what had passed; and their

raptures continued, with little intermission, to the very day

of Lydia's leaving home.

 

Elizabeth was now to see Mr. Wickham for the last time. Having

been frequently in company with him since her return, agitation

was pretty well over; the agitations of former partiality

entirely so. She had even learnt to detect, in the very

gentleness which had first delighted her, an affectation and a

sameness to disgust and weary. In his present behaviour to

herself, moreover, she had a fresh source of displeasure, for

the inclination he soon testified of renewing those attentions

which had marked the early part of their acquaintance could

only serve, after what had since passed, to provoke her. She

lost all concern for him in finding herself thus selected as

the object of such idle and frivolous gallantry; and while she

steadily repressed it, could not but feel the reproof contained

in his believing that, however long, and for whatever cause,

his attentions had been withdrawn, her vanity would be

gratified and her preference secured at any time by their

renewal.

 

On the very last day of the regiment's remaining in Meryton, he

dined with others of the officers at Longbourn; and so little

was Elizabeth disposed to part from him in good humour, that on

his making some enquiry as to the manner in which her time had

passed at Hunsford, she mentioned Colonel Fitzwilliam's and

Mr. Darcy's having both spent three weeks at Rosings, and asked

him if he were acquainted with the former.

 

He looked surprised, displeased, alarmed; but with a moment's

recollection and a returning smile, replied that he had

formerly seen him often; and after observing that he was a very

gentlemanlike man, asked her how she had liked him. Her answer

was warmly in his favour. With an air of indifference he soon

afterwards added, "How long did you say that he was at

Rosings?"

 

"Nearly three weeks."

 

"And you saw him frequently?"

 

"Yes, almost every day."

 

"His manners are very different from his cousin's."

 

"Yes, very different. But I think Mr. Darcy improves on

acquaintance."

 

"Indeed!" cried Wickham with a look which did not escape her.

"And pray may I ask --?" but checking himself, he added in a

gayer tone, "Is it in address that he improves? Has he deigned

to add ought of civility to his ordinary style? for I dare not

hope," he continued in a lower and more serious tone, "that he

is improved in essentials."

 

"Oh, no!" said Elizabeth. "In essentials, I believe, he is

very much what he ever was."

 

While she spoke, Wickham looked as if scarcely knowing whether

to rejoice over her words, or to distrust their meaning. There

was a something in her countenance which made him listen with

an apprehensive and anxious attention, while she added,

 

"When I said that he improved on acquaintance, I did not mean

that either his mind or manners were in a state of improvement,

but that from knowing him better, his disposition was better

understood."

 

Wickham's alarm now appeared in a heightened complexion and

agitated look; for a few minutes he was silent; till, shaking

off his embarrassment, he turned to her again, and said in the

gentlest of accents,