Невинный секс 23 страницаWhen Edward's voice came back to me now, it was not the perfect imitation of my delusions. It was just the weak, flat tone of my memories. But the words alone were enough to shred through my chest and leave it gaping open. Words from a time when I would have bet everything that I owned or could borrow on that fact that he loved me.
Well, I wasn't going to live without you, he'd said as we watched Romeo and Juliet die, here in this very room. But I wasn't sure how to do it… I knew Emmett and Jasper would never help… so I was thinking maybe I would go to Italy and do something to provoke the Volturi… You don't irritate them. Not unless you want to die.
Not unless you want to die.
"NO!" The half-shrieked denial was so loud after the whispered words, it made us all jump. I felt the blood rushing to my face as I realized what she'd seen. "No! No, no, no! He can't! He can't do that!"
"He made up his mind as soon as your friend confirmed that it was too late to save you."
"But he… he left! He didn't want me anymore! What difference does it make now? He knew I would die sometime!"
"I don't think he ever planned to outlive you by long," Alice said quietly.
"How dare he!" I screamed. I was on my feet now, and Jacob rose uncertainly to put himself between Alice and me again.
"Oh, get out of the way, Jacob!" I elbowed my way around his trembling body with desperate impatience. "What do we do?" I begged Alice. There had to be something. "Can't we call him? Can Carlisle?"
She was shaking her head. "That was the first thing I tried. He left his phone in a trash can in Rio—someone answered it…" she whispered.
"You said before we had to hurry. Hurry how? Let's do it, whatever it is!"
"Bella, I—I don't think I can ask you to…" She trailed off in indecision.
"Ask me!" I commanded.
She put her hands on my shoulders, holding me in place, her fingers flexing sporadically to emphasize her words. "We may already be too late. I saw him going to the Volturi… and asking to die." We both cringed, and my eyes were suddenly blind. I blinked feverishly at the tears. "It all depends on what they choose. I can't see that till they make a decision.
"But if they say no, and they might—Aro is fond of Carlisle, and wouldn't want to offend him—Edward has a backup plan. They're very protective of their city. If Edward does something to upset the peace, he thinks they'll act to stop him. And he's right. They will."
I stared at her with my jaw clenched in frustration. I'd heard nothing yet that would explain why we were still standing here.
"So if they agree to grant his favor, we're too late. If they say no, and he comes up with a plan to offend them quickly enough, we're too late. If he gives into his more theatrical tendencies… we might have time."
"Let's go!"
"Listen, Bella! Whether we are in time or not, we will be in the heart of the Volturi city. I will be considered his accomplice if he is successful. You will be a human who not only knows too much, but also smells too good. There's a very good chance that they will eliminate us all—though in your case it won't be punishment so much as dinnertime."
"This is what's keeping us here?" I asked in disbelief. "I'll go alone if you're afraid." I mentally tabulated what money was left in my account, and wondered if Alice would lend me the rest.
"I'm only afraid of getting you killed."
I snorted in disgust. "I almost get myself killed on a daily basis! Tell me what I need to do!"
"You write a note to Charlie. I'll call the airlines."
"Charlie," I gasped.
Not that my presence was protecting him, but could I leave him here alone to face…
"I'm not going to let anything happen to Charlie." Jacob's low voice was gruff and angry. "Screw the treaty."
I glanced up at him, and he scowled at my panicked expression.
"Hurry, Bella," Alice interrupted urgently.
I ran to the kitchen, yanking the drawers open and throwing the contents all over the floor as I searched for a pen. A smooth, brown hand held one out to me.
"Thanks," I mumbled, pulling the cap off with my teeth. He silently handed me the pad of paper we wrote phone messages on. I tore off the top sheet and threw it over my shoulder.
Dad, I wrote. I'm with Alice. Edward's in trouble. You can ground me when I get back. I know it's a bad time. So sorry. Love you so much. Bella.
"Don't go," Jacob whispered. The anger was all gone now that Alice was out of sight.
I wasn't about to waste time arguing with him. "Please, please, please take care of Charlie," I said as I dashed back out to the front room. Alice was waiting in the doorway with a bag over her shoulder.
"Get your wallet—you'll need ID. Please tell me you have a passport. I don't have time to forge one."
I nodded and then raced up the stairs, my knees weak with gratitude that my mother had wanted to marry Phil on a beach in Mexico. Of course, like all her plans, it had fallen through. But not before I'd made all the practical arrangements I could for her.
I tore through my room. I stuffed my old wallet, a clean T-shirt, and sweatpants into my backpack, and then threw my toothbrush on top. I hurled myself back down the stairs. The sense of deja vu was nearly stifling by this point. At least, unlike the last time—when I'd run away from Forks to escape thirsty vampires rather than to find them—I wouldn't have to say goodbye to Charlie in person.
Jacob and Alice were locked in some kind of confrontation in front of the open door, standing so far apart you wouldn't assume at first that they were having a conversation. Neither one seemed to notice my noisy reappearance.
"You might control yourself on occasion, but these leeches you're taking her to—" Jacob was furiously accusing her.
"Yes. You're right, dog." Alice was snarling, too. "The Volturi are the very essence of our kind—they're the reason your hair stands on end when you smell me. They are the substance of your nightmares, the dread behind your instincts. I'm not unaware of that."
"And you take her to them like a bottle of wine for a party!" he shouted.
"You think she'd be better off if I left her here alone, with Victoria stalking her?"
"We can handle the redhead."
"Then why is she still hunting?"
Jacob growled, and a shudder rippled through his torso.
"Stop that!" I shouted at them both, wild with impatience. "Argue when we get back, let's go!"
Alice turned for the car, disappearing in her haste. I hurried after her, pausing automatically to turn and lock the door.
Jacob caught my arm with a shivering hand. "Please, Bella. I'm begging."
His dark eyes were glistening with tears. A lump filled my throat.
"Jake, I have to—"
"You don't, though. You really don't. You could stay here with me. You could stay alive. For Charlie. For me."
The engine of Carlisle's Mercedes purred; the rhythm of the thrumming spiked when Alice revved it impatiently.
I shook my head, tears spattering from my eyes with the sharp motion. I pulled my arm free, and he didn't fight me.
"Don't die, Bella," he choked out. "Don't go. Don't."
What if I never saw him again?
The thought pushed me past the silent tears; a sob broke out from my chest. I threw my arms around his waist and hugged for one too-short moment, burying my tear-wet face against his chest. He put his big hand on the back of my hair, as if to hold me there.
"Bye, Jake." I pulled his hand from my hair, and kissed his palm. I couldn't bear to look at his face. "Sorry," I whispered.
Then I spun and raced for the car. The door on the passenger side was open and waiting. I threw my backpack over the headrest and slid in, slamming the door behind me.
"Take care of Charlie!" I turned to shout out the window, but Jacob was nowhere in sight. As Alice stomped on the gas and—with the tires screeching like human screams—spun us around to face the road, I caught sight of a shred of white near the edge of the trees. A piece of a shoe. 19. HATE
WE MADE OUR FLIGHT WITH SECONDS TO SPARE, AND THEN the true torture began. The plane sat idle on the tarmac while the flight attendants strolled—so casually—up and down the aisle, patting the bags in the overhead compartments to make sure everything fit. The pilots leaned out of the cockpit, chatting with them as they passed. Alice's hand was hard on my shoulder, holding me in my seat while I bounced anxiously up and down.
"It's faster than running," she reminded me in a low voice.
I just nodded in time with my bouncing.
At last the plane rolled lazily from the gate, building speed with a gradual steadiness that tortured me further. I expected some kind of relief when we achieved liftoff, but my frenzied impatience didn't lessen.
Alice lifted the phone on the back of the seat in front of her before we'd stopped climbing, turning her back on the stewardess who eyed her with disapproval. Something about my expression stopped the stewardess from coming over to protest.
I tried to tune out what Alice was murmuring to Jasper; I didn't want to hear the words again, but some slipped through.
"I can't be sure, I keep seeing him do different things, he keeps changing his mind… A killing spree through the city, attacking the guard, lifting a car over his head in the main square… mostly things that would expose them—he knows that's the fastest way to force a reaction…"
"No, you can't." Alice's voice dropped till it was nearly inaudible, though I was sitting inches from her. Contrarily, I listened harder. "Tell Emmett no… Well, go after Emmett and Rosalie and bring them back… Think about it, Jasper. If he sees any of us, what do you think he will do?"
She nodded. "Exactly. I think Bella is the only chance—if there is a chance… I'll do everything that can be done, but prepare Carlisle; the odds aren't good."
She laughed then, and there was a catch in her voice. "I've thought of that… Yes, I promise." Her voice became pleading. "Don't follow me. I promise, Jasper. One way or another, I'll get out… And I love you."
She hung up, and leaned back in her seat with her eyes closed. "I hate lying to him."
"Tell me everything, Alice," I begged. "I don't understand. Why did you tell Jasper to stop Emmett, why can't they come help us?"
"Two reasons," she whispered, her eyes still closed. "The first I told him. We could try to stop Edward ourselves—if Emmett could get his hands on him, we might be able to stop him long enough to convince him you're alive. But we can't sneak up on Edward. And if he sees us coming for him, he'll just act that much faster. He'll throw a Buiclc through a wall or something, and the Volturi will take him down.
"That's the second reason of course, the reason I couldn't say to Jasper. Because if they're there and the Volturi kill Edward, they'll fight them. Bella." She opened her eyes and stared at me, beseeching. "If there were any chance we could win… if there were a way that the four of us could save my brother by fighting for him, maybe it would be different. But we can't, and, Bella, I can't lose Jasper like that."
I realized why her eyes begged for my understanding. She was protecting Jasper, at our expense, and maybe at Edward's, too. I understood, and I did not think badly of her. I nodded.
"Couldn't Edward hear you, though.'" I asked. "Wouldn't he know, as soon as he heard your thoughts, that I was alive, that there was no point to this?"
Not that there was any justification, either way. I still couldn't believe that he was capable of reacting like this. It made no sense! I remembered with painful clarity his words that day on the sofa, while we watched Romeo and Juliet kill themselves, one after the other. I wasn't going to live without you, he'd said, as if it should be such an obvious conclusion. But the words he had spoken in the forest as he'd left me had canceled all that out—forcefully.
"If he were listening," she explained. "But believe it or not, it's possible to lie with your thoughts. If you had died, I would still try to stop him. And I would be thinking 'she's alive, she's alive' as hard as I could. He knows that."
I ground my teeth in mute frustration.
"If there were any way to do this without you, Bella, I wouldn't be endangering you like this. It's very wrong of me."
"Don't be stupid. I'm the last thing you should be worrying about." I shook my head impatiently. "Tell me what you meant, about hating to lie to Jasper."
She smiled a grim smile. "I promised him I would get out before they killed me, too. It's not something I can guarantee—not by a long shot." She raised her eyebrows, as if willing me to take the danger more seriously.
"Who are these Volturi?" I demanded in a whisper. "What makes them so much more dangerous than Emmett, Jasper, Rosalie, and you?" It was hard to imagine something scarier than that.
She took a deep breath, and then abruptly leveled a dark glance over my shoulder. I turned in time to see the man in the aisle seat looking away as if he wasn't listening to us. He appeared to be a businessman, in a dark suit with a power tie and a laptop on his knees. While I stared at him with irritation, he opened the computer and very conspicuously put headphones on.
I leaned closer to Alice. Her lips were at my ears as she breathed the story.
"I was surprised that you recognized the name," she said. "That you understood so immediately what it meant—when I said he was going to Italy. I thought I would have to explain. How much did Edward tell you?"
"He just said they were an old, powerful family—like royalty. That you didn't antagonize them unless you wanted to… die," I whispered. The last word was hard to choke out.
"You have to understand," she said, her voice slower, more measured now. "We Cullens are unique in more ways than you know. It's… abnormal for so many of us to live together in peace. It's the same for Tanya's family in the north, and Carlisle speculates that abstaining makes it easier for us to be civilized, to form bonds based on love rather than survival or convenience. Even James's little coven of three was unusually large—and you saw how easily Laurent left them. Our kind travel alone, or in pairs, as a general rule. Carlisle's family is the biggest in existence, as far as I know, with the one exception. The Volturi.
"There were three of them originally, Aro, Caius, and Marcus."
"I've seen them," I mumbled. "In the picture in Carlisle's study."
Alice nodded. "Two females joined them over time, and the five of them make up the family. I'm not sure, but I suspect that their age is what gives them the ability to live peacefully together. They are well over three thousand years old. Or maybe it's their gifts that give them extra tolerance. Like Edward and I, Aro and Marcus are… talented."
She continued before I could ask. "Or maybe it's just their love of power that binds them together. Royalty is an apt description."
"But if there are only five—"
"Five that make up the family," she corrected. "That doesn't include their guard."
I took a deep breath. "That sounds… serious."
"Oh, it is," she assured me. "There were nine members of the guard that were permanent, the last time we heard. Others are more… transitory. It changes. And many of them are gifted as well—with formidable gifts, gifts that make what I can do look like a parlor trick. The Volturi chose them for their abilities, physical or otherwise."
I opened my mouth, and then closed it. I didn't think I wanted to know how bad the odds were.
She nodded again, as if she understood exactly what I was thinking. "They don't get into too many confrontations. No one is stupid enough to mess with them. They stay in their city, leaving only as duty calls."
"Duty?" I wondered.
"Didn't Edward tell you what they do?"
"No," I said, feeling the blank expression on my face.
Alice looked over my head again, toward the businessman, and put her wintry lips back to my ear.
"There's a reason he called them royalty… the ruling class. Over the millennia, they have assumed the position of enforcing our rules—which actually translates to punishing transgressors. They fulfill that duty decisively."
My eyes popped wide with shock. "There are rules?" I asked in a voice that was too loud.
"Shh!"
"Shouldn't somebody have mentioned this to me earlier?" I whispered angrily. "I mean, I wanted to be a… to be one of you! Shouldn't somebody have explained the rules to me?"
Alice chuckled once at my reaction. "It's not that complicated, Bella. There's only one core restriction—and if you think about it, you can probably figure it out for yourself."
I thought about it. "Nope, I have no idea."
She shook her head, disappointed. "Maybe it's too obvious. We just have to keep our existence a secret."
"Oh," I mumbled. It was obvious.
"It makes sense, and most of us don't need policing," she continued. "But, after a few centuries, sometimes one of us gets bored. Or crazy. I dor't know. And then the Volturi step in before it can compromise them, or the rest of us."
"So Edward…"
"Is planning to flout that in their own city—the city they've secretly held for three thousand years, since the time of the Etruscans. They are so protective of their city that they don't allow hunting within its walls. Volterra is probably the safest city in the world—from vampire attack at the very least."
"But you said they didn't leave. How do they eat?"
"They don't leave. They bring in their food from the outside, from quite far away sometimes. It gives their guard something to do when they're not out annihilating mavericks. Or protecting Volterra from exposure…"
"From situations like this one, like Edward," I finished her sentence. It was amazingly easy to say his name now. I wasn't sure what the difference was. Maybe because I wasn't really planning on living much longer without seeing him. Or at all, if we were too late. It was comforting to know that I would have an easy out.
"I doubt they've ever had a situation quite like this," she muttered, disgusted. "You don't get a lot of suicidal vampires."
The sound that escaped out of my mouth was very quiet, but Alice seemed to understand that it was a cry of pain. She wrapped her thin, strong arm around my shoulders.
"We'll do what we can, Bella. It's not over yet."
"Not yet." I let her comfort me, though I knew she thought our chances were poor. "And the Volturi will get us if we mess up."
Alice stiffened. "You say that like it's a good thing."
I shrugged.
"Knock it off, Bella, or we're turning around in New York and going back to Forks."
"What?"
"You know what. If we're too late for Edward, I'm going to do my damnedest to get you back to Charlie, and I don't want any trouble from you. Do you understand that?"
"Sure, Alice."
She pulled back slightly so that she could glare at me. "No trouble."
"Scout's honor," I muttered.
She rolled her eyes.
"Let me concentrate, now. I'm trying to see what he's planning."
She left her arm around me, but let her head fall back against the seat and closed her eyes. She pressed her free hand to the side of her face, rubbing her fingertips against her temple.
I watched her in fascination for a long time. Eventually, she became utterly motionless, hei face like a stone sculpture. The minutes passed, and if I didn't know better, I would have thought she'd fallen asleep. I didn't dare interrupt her to ask what was going on.
I wished there was something safe for me to think about. I couldn't allow myself to consider the horrors we were headed toward, or, more horrific yet, the chance that we might fail—not if I wanted to keep from screaming aloud.
I couldn't anticipate anything, either. Maybe, if I were very, very, very lucky, I would somehow be able to save Edward. But I wasn't so stupid as to think that saving him would mean that I could stay with him. I was no different, no more special than I'd been before. There would be no new reason for him to want me now. Seeing him and losing him again…
I fought back against the pain. This was the price I had to pay to save his life. I would pay it.
They showed a movie, and my neighbor got headphones. Sometimes I watched the figures moving across the little screen, but I couldn't even tell if the movie was supposed to be a romance or a horror film.
After an eternity, the plane began to descend toward New York City. Alice remained in her trance. I dithered, reaching out to touch her, only to pull my hand back again. This happened a dozen times before the plane touched town with a jarring impact.
"Alice," I finally said. "Alice, we have to go."
I touched her arm.
Her eyes came open very slowly. She shook her head from side to side for a moment.
"Anything new?" I asked in a low voice, conscious of the man listening on the other side of me.
"Not exactly," she breathed in a voice I could barely catch. "He's getting closer. He's deciding how he's going to ask."
We had to run for our connection, but that was good—better than having to wait. As soon as the plane was in the air, Alice closed her eyes and slid back into the same stupor as before. I waited as patiently as I could. When it was dark again, I opened the window to stare out into the flat black that was no better than the window shade.
I was grateful that I'd had so many months' practice with controlling my thoughts. Instead of dwelling on the terrifying possibilities that, no matter what Alice said, I did not intend to survive, I concentrated on lesser problems. Like, what I was going to say to Charlie if I got back:' That was a thorny enough problem to occupy several hours. And Jacob? He'd promised to wait for me, but did that promise still apply? Would I end up home alone in Forks, with no one at all? Maybe I didn't want to survive, no matter what happened.
It felt like seconds later when Alice shook my shoulder—I hadn't realized I'd fallen asleep.
"Bella," she hissed, her voice a little too loud in the darkened cabin full of sleeping humans.
I wasn't disoriented—I hadn't been out long enough for that.
"What's wrong?"
Alice's eyes gleamed in the dim light of a reading lamp in the row behind us.
"It's not wrong." She smiled fiercely. "It's right. They're deliberating, but they've decided to tell him no."
"The Volturi?" I muttered, groggy.
"Of course, Bella, keep up. I can see what they're going to say."
"Tell me."
An attendant tiptoed down the aisle to us. "Can I get you ladies a pillow?" His hushed whisper was a rebuke to our comparatively loud conversation.
"No, thank you." Alice beamed at up at him, her smile shockingly lovely. The attendant's expression was dazed as he turned and stumbled his way back.
"Tell me," I breathed almost silently.
She whispered into my ear. "They're interested in him—they think his talent could be uselul. They're going to offer him a place with them."
"What will he say?"
"I can't see that yet, but I'll bet it's colorful." She grinned again. "This is the first good news—the first break. They're intrigued; they truly don't want to destroy him—'wasteful,' that's the word Aro will use—and that may be enough to force him to get creative. The longer he spends on his plans, the better for us."
It wasn't enough to make me hopeful, to make me feel the relief she obviously felt. There were still so many ways that we could be too late. And if I didn't get through the walls into the Volturi city, I wouldn't be able to stop Alice from dragging me back home.
"Alice?"
"What?"
"I'm confused. How are you seeing this so clearly? And then other times, you see things far away—things that don't happen?"
Her eyes tightened. I wondered if she guessed what I was thinking of.
"It's clear because it's immediate and close, and I'm really concentrating. The faraway things that come on their own—those are just glimpses, faint maybes. Plus, I see my kind more easily than yours. Edward is even easier because I'm so attuned to him."
"You see me sometimes," I reminded her.
She shook her head. "Not as clearly."
I sighed. "I really wish you could have been right about me. In the beginning, when you first saw things about me, before we even met…"
"What do you mean?"
"You saw me become one of you." I barely mouthed the words.
She sighed. "It was a possibility at the time."
"At the time," I repeated.
"Actually, Bella…" She hesitated, and then seemed to make a choice. "Honestly, I think it's all gotten beyond ridiculous. I'm debating whether to just change you myself."
I stared at her, frozen with shock. Instantly, my mind resisted her words. I couldn't afford that kind of hope if she changed her mind.
"Did I scare you?" she wondered. "I thought that's what you wanted."
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