Miscellaneous' Crooks

8.1. In the Tasmanian town of Launceton, Dun Desmond Davey was fined $1, 600 for quacking like a duck on his radio transmitter. He was convicted of broadcasting something that was not speech, and ordered to hand over his radio as well. Shortly before Barry Brownless of London was fined 1, 600 pounds for barking at a police dog. He was found guilty of using threatening behavior.

8.2. A man was arrested in Bangkok, Thailand, charged with impersonating a police officer. Using a stolen uniform, he had spent two months posing as a traffic cop in order to extort money from motorists. He finally came unstuck when a senior officer passed by on an inspection tour and he saluted with the wrong hand.

8.3. Pickpocket Mario Palumbo thought he was going to have another good day at the races as he mingled with a 75, 000-stmng crowd in Monza, Italy. Unfortunately, his chosen victim turned out to be Retro Fontana, who was not only a cop but the head (if Milan's anti-pickpocket squad. Apparently known as the King of the Pickpockets, Palumbo was said to have remarked on his arrest: " When they hear of this in Naples, Г will die of shame."

8.4. John Gilmer of Goole, England, was arrested for drunken driving but the police left him alone for a moment. Seizing his opportunity he stole the car and drove off. He would probably have got away with it, driving along dark Yorkshire lanes, but for one thing: he had no idea how to turn off the patrol car's flashing blue light. The police simply followed the light and arrested him when he gave up and parked by a riverbank.

8.5. Unemployed David Morris, 21 from Beckenham in Kent, England, was passing the time before a date with his girlfriend when he wrote a note reading " I have a gun in my pocket and Г11 shoot it off unless you hand over the money". He then went into three shops and passed the note over the counter. At the drugstore an assistant refused to accept the note because she thought it was an obscene suggestion Next door in a hardware store a sales clerk shook his head and said he could not read English. Morris then went into a take-out restaurant, but the cashier couldn't read the note without his glasses. Morris asked for it back and hung around the street outside. Arrested soon afterward he told the police: " Fve been a twit... 1 only pretended to have a gun." He was put on probation for two years.

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9. Outrageous Lawsuits

9-t A woman in Israel is suing a TV station and its weatherman for $1, 000 after he predicted a sunny day and it rained. The woman claims the forecast caused her to leave home lightly dressed. As a result, she caught the flu, missed 4 days of work, spent $38 on medication and suffered stress.

9.2. A woman dropped some burglar bars on her foot. She
claimed that her neighbour, who was helping her carry the bars,
had caused the accident. The neighbour's insurance company offered
to settle the dispute by paying her medical bills, but she refused.
She wanted more and sued for damages, including " pain and
suffering." The jury took only 17 minutes to unanimously decide
that the woman was fully responsible for her own injuries. The
innocent neighbour had to pay $4, 700 in defense costs. The two are
no longer friends.

9.3. A jury awarded $173, 000 in damages to a woman who sued her former fiance for breaking their seven-week engagement- The breakdown: $93, 000 for pain & suffering; $60, 000 for loss of income from her legal practice, and $25, 000 for psychiatric counseling expenses.

9.4. Inmates at a county jail sued for cruel and unusual living conditions: bunk beds, cells lacking a sink and toilet, and no way to exercise in winter. These criminals were awarded $2 million dollars, paid by the taxpayers of Massachusetts. Each inmate who was a party to the suit got $10 tax-free, for each day he was jailed. Their award included damages plus 12 per cent interest from the time the case was settled until the time they collected their windfall.

9.5. John Carter, a New Jersey man sued McDonald's for injuries he sustained in an auto accident with one of their customers. He claimed that the customer w^rho hit him did so after spilling the contents of his chocolate shake (which he purchased from Mcponald's) onto his lap while reaching over for his fries. He alleged that McDonald's sold their customer food knowing he would consume it while driving and without announcing or affixing a warning to the effect " don't eat and drive/' The court concluded that McDonald's had no duty to warn customers of obvious things which they should expect to know, but refused McDonald's request for attorney's fees stating that the plaintiff's attorney was " creative, imaginative and he shouldn't be penalised for that." This case was

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in the court system for three years, underwent appellate court review and cost McDonald's over $10, 000.

9.6. A woman was treated by a psychiatrist, became
romantically involved with him, and subsequently married him.
After more than five years of marriage they divorced, at which
time the woman sued her ex-husband for psychiatric malpractice
and negligence claiming that the romantic or sexual relationship
between them started before the formal psychiatric treatment ended.
She contended that her ex-husband had breached the standard of
care as a psychiatrist by becoming romantically involved with her_T
and sought general, special and punitive damages.

9.7. A surfer recently sued another surfer for " taking his wave." The case was ultimately dismissed Because they were unable to put a price on " pain and suffering" endured by watching someone ride the wave that was " intended for you."

9.8. A man sued a lemonade company for $10, 000 for false advertising. He claimed that he suffered physical and mental injury and emotional distress from the implicit promises in the advertisements. When he drank the beverage, success with women did not come true for him plus, he got sick. The Michigan Court of Appeals affirmed a lower-court decision dismissing the case.