Where do bees go to the bathroom?
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| At the BP station!
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Why is your dog watching me so attentively while I am eating?
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| Maybe it's because you are eating out of its plate
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How do you confuse a blonde?
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| Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner
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What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
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| Pull the pin out and throw it back
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Miss, I see a fly in my soup on the bottom of my plate. What does that mean?
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| I have no clue. I'm a waitress, not a fortuneteller
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Mary, have you changed the water in the fishbowl?
|
| No, mummy. The goldfish has not drunk this water yet.
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Doctor! Doctor! Everyone keeps on copying me!
|
| Doctor: Doctor! Everyone keeps on copying me!
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What do cows do for entertainment?
|
| They rent moovies!
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How do you call a deer with no eyes?
|
| I have no I-Deer
|
What is the difference between men
and pigs?
|
| Pigs don't turn into men when they drink
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How can I catch a squirrel?
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| Climb up a tree and just be yourself. Squirrels will run for you. Because they just love NUTS!
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What did your doctor tell you about your memory loss?
|
| He made me pay in advance
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Why don't skeletons fight each other?
|
| They don't have the guts
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Practice Homework
1) Humor NEW!
2) Friends words
3) Prepositions 5-6
4) Mistakes NEW!
8 your own sentences with new mistakes
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Grammar Revision 1
1) Некоторые люди любят такие фильмы, другие нет
Some people like such films, others don’t
2) Здесь только 2 книги. Где остальные?
There are only 2 books here. Where are the others?
3) Ни мой друг, ни я не студенты.
Neither my friend nor I am a student.
4) И Тим, и Джек были в Лондоне
Both Tim and Jack have been to London
5) Я едва могу понять и слово из того, что она говорит
I can hardly understand a word she’s saying
6) Эта картина не такая красивая, как та
This picture is not as beautiful as that one
7) Ты должен вежливее разговаривать с людьми, иначе они подумают, что ты плохо воспитан
You have to speak to people more politely, otherwise they will think that you are badly brought up
8) Ваша задача сделать как можно меньше ошибок, но закончить как можно быстрее
Your task is to make as few mistakes as possible but to finish as quickly as possible
9) Дети любят петь, но делают это плохо.
Children like singing but do it badly.
10) Я едва поспеваю за тобой (могу тебя догнать) I can hardly catch up with you.