Coherence
Coherent writing flows smoothly and easily from one sentence and paragraph to another, clarifying the relationships among ideas and thus allowing the reader to grasp connections. Because incoherent writing fails to do this, it confuses, and sometimes even irritates, the reader. Here is a paragraph that lacks coherence: I woke up late. I had been so tired the night before that I had forgotten to set the alarm. All I could think of was the report I had stayed up until 3 A.M. typing, and how I could possibly get twenty copies ready for next morning's 9 o'clock sales meeting. I panicked and ran out the door. My bus was so crowded I had to stand. Jumping off the bus, I raced back up the street. The meeting was already underway. Mr. Jackson gestured for me to come into the conference room. Inserting the first page of the report into the copier, I set the dial for twenty copies and pressed the print button. The sign started flashing CALL KEY OPERATOR. The machine was out of order. Mr. Jackson asked whether the report was ready. I pointed to the flashing red words. Mr. Jackson nodded grimly without saying anything. He left me alone with the broken machine. This paragraph has some degree of unity: most of its sentences relate to the writer's disastrous experience with the sales report. Unfortunately, though, its many gaps in logic create rather than answer questions, and in very bumpy prose, at that. Note the gap between the third and fourth sentences. Did the writer jump out of bed and rush right out the door? Of course not, but the reader has no real clue to the actual sequence of events. Another gap occurs between the next two sentences, leaving the reader to wonder why the writer had to race up the street upon leaving the bus. And who is Mr. Jackson? The paragraph never tells, but the reader will want to know. Now read this rewritten version, additions italicized: I woke up late because I had been so tired the night before that I had forgotten to set the alarm. All I could think of was the report I had stayed up until 3 A.M. typing, and how I could possibly get twenty copies ready for next morning's 9 o'clock sales meeting. When I realized it was 8:30,1 panicked. Jumping out of bed, I threw on some clothes, grabbed the report, and ran out the door. My bus was so crowded I had to stand and could not see out the window. Two blocks beyond my stop, I realized I should have gotten off. "Stop!" I cried and, jumping off the bus, raced back up the street. When I reached the office, it was 9:15, and the meeting was already underway. Mr.Jackson, the sales manager, saw me and gestured for me to come into the conference room. "One moment, " I said as calmly as I could and hurried to the copier. Inserting the first page of the report into it, I set the dial for twenty copies and pressed the print button. Immediately, the sign started flashing CALL KEY OPERATOR. The machine was out of order. The next thing I knew, Mr.Jackson was at my side asking whether the report was ready. I pointed to the flashing red words, and Mr. Jackson nodded grimly without saying anything. Turning on his heel, he walked away andleft me alone with the broken machine. As this example shows, correcting an incoherent paragraph may call for anything from a single word to a whole sentence or more. Coherence derives from a sufficient supply of supporting details and your firm sense of the way your ideas go together. If you brainstorm your topic thoroughly and think carefully about the relationships between sentences, incoherence isn't likely to haunt your paragraphs. As you write, and especially when you revise, signal connections to the reader by using transitions —devices that link sentences to one another. These are the most common transitional devices: 1. Connecting words and phrases 2. Repeated key words 3. Pronouns and demonstrative adjectives 4. Parallelism You can use them to furnish links both within and between paragraphs. Connecting Words and Phrases. These connectors clarify relationships between sentences. The following list groups them according to function: Showing similarity: in like manner, likewise, moreover, similarly Showing contrast: at the same time, but, even so, however, in contrast, instead, nevertheless, still, on the contrary, on the other hand, otherwise, yet Showing results or effects: accordingly, as a result, because, consequently, hence, since, therefore, thus, for this reason Adding ideas together: also, besides, first (second, third...), furthermore, in addition, in the first place, likewise, moreover, similarly, too Pointing out examples: for example, for instance, to illustrate Showing emphasis and clarity: above all, after all, again, as a matter of fact, besides, in fact, in other words, indeed, nonetheless, that is Indicating time: at times, after, afterward, from then on, immediately, later, meanwhile, next, now, once, previously, subsequently, then, until, while Conceding a point: granted that, of course, to be sure, admittedly Providing an alternative: instead, alternatively, otherwise Affirming: of course, in fact, certainly, obviously, to be sure, undoubtedly, indeed Explaining: in other words, that is Drawing conclusions: as a result, finally, in brief, in conclusion, in short, to summarize, generally, overall, all in all Don't overload your paper with connectors. In well-planned prose, your message flows clearly with only an occasional assist from them. In the following excerpt, which clarifies the difference between workers and workaholics, the connectors are underlined: My efforts to define workaholism and to distinguish workaholics from other hard workers proved difficult. While, workaholics do work hard, not all hard workers are workaholics. Moonlighters, for example, may work 16 hours a day to make ends meet, but most of them will stop working when their financial circumstances permit. Accountants, too, seem to work non-stop, but many slow down after the April 15 tax deadline. Workaholics, on the other hand, always devote more time and thought to their work than their situation demands. Even in the absence of deadlines to meet, mortgages to pay, promotions to earn, or bosses to please, workaholics still work hard. What sets them apart is their attitude toward work, not the number of hours they work. Marilyn Machlowkz, "Workaholism: What's Wrong with Being Married to Your Work?";
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