Contents 23 страница

back.

And Bonnie was scrambling as lightly as she had boasted, up on top of the dead

tree branch that sheltered them. She even gave them a little laughing salute just

before she leaped into the barren, sparkling circle around the tree.

Then microseconds stretched infinitely. Elena felt her eyes slowly getting wider,

even though she knew they were flying open. She saw Stefan leisurely reach

across her to try to twine his fingers around Bonnie’s leg, even though she knew

that what she was seeing was a lightning-fast grab for the petite girl’s ankle. She

even heard Damon’s instantaneous telepathy: No, little fool! as if he were speaking

the words in his accustomed lazy tones of superiority.

Then, still in slow motion, Bonnie’s knees bent and she launched into the air

above the circle.

But she never touched the ground. Somehow, a black streak, stunningly fast

even in the slow-motion horror film that Elena was watching, landed where Bonnie

would have landed. And then Bonnie was being thrown, being hurled too fast for

Elena’s eyes to track, outside of the barren circle and then there was a dull thud—

too fast for Elena’s mind to track as being Bonnie’s landing.

Quite clearly, she heard Stefan cry “Damon!” in a terrible voice. And then Elena

saw the thin dark objects—like curving lances—that were already shooting

downward. Another thing her eyes couldn’t follow. When her vision adjusted, she

saw that they were long, curved black branches, spaced evenly around the tree like

thirty spider legs, thirty long spears that were meant to either imprison someone

inside them like the bars of a cell, or to—pin them into the strange sand beneath

her feet.

“Pin” was a good word. Elena liked the sound of it. Even as she was staring at

the sharp recurved barbs on the branches, meant to keep anything caught by them

held permanently in the ground, she was thinking of Damon’s annoyance if a shaft

had pierced his leather jacket. He would curse at them, and Bonnie would try to

pretend he hadn’t—and…

She was close enough by now to see that it wasn’t as simple as that. The branch,

which was proper javelin size, had gone through Damon’s shoulder, which must

hurt like hell, in addition to having splattered a blood drop right at the corner of his

mouth. But far more annoying than that was the fact that he had closed his eyes

against her. That was how Elena thought of it. He was shutting them out

deliberately—maybe because he was angry; maybe because of the pain in his

shoulder. But it reminded her of the steel wall feeling she’d gotten the last time

she’d tried to touch his mind—and, damn, couldn’t he tell he was scaring them?

“Open your eyes, Damon,” she said, flushing, because that was what he wanted

her to say. He really was the greatest manipulator of all. “Open your eyes, I said!”

Now she was really irritated. “Don’t play possum, because you’re not fooling

anyone, and we’ve really had enough!” She was about to shake him hard when

something lifted her into the air, into Stefan’s line of vision.

Stefan was in pain, but surely not as badly as Damon, so she was looking back

to curse Damon when Stefan said harshly, “Elena, he can’t!”

For just the tiniest fleeting instant the words sounded like nonsense to her. Not

only garbled, but meaningless, like saying someone couldn’t stop their appendix

from doing—whatever it was an appendix did. That was all the respite that she got,

and then she had to deal with what her eyes were showing her.

Damon wasn’t pinned by his shoulder. He’d been staked, just slightly to the left of

center of his torso.

Exactly where his heart was.

Words drifted back to her. Words that someone had once said—although she

couldn’t remember who right now. “You can’t kill a vampire so easily. We only die

if you stake us through the heart….”

Die? Damon die? This was some kind of mistake…

“Open your eyes!” “Elena, he can’t!”

But she knew, without knowing how, that Damon wasn’t dead. She wasn’t

surprised that Stefan didn’t know it; it was a hum on a private frequency between

her and Damon.

“Come on, hurry, give me your axe,” she said, so desperately, and with such an

air of knowledge that Stefan handed it over wordlessly, and obeyed when she told

him to steady the curving spider-leg branch from above and below. Then with a few

quick strokes of the axe she cut through the black branch that was thick enough in

circumference that she couldn’t have clasped her fingers around it. It was done in a

spurt of pure adrenaline, but she knew it awed Stefan and allowed him to let her

continue doing it.

When she was finished, she had a loose spider-leg branch that drooped back to

the tree, anchored to nothing—and something that looked more like a proper stake

in Damon.

It wasn’t until she began pulling upward on the stake that a horrified Stefan made

her stop.

“Elena! Elena, I wouldn’t lie to you! This is just what these branches are for. For

intruders who are vampires. Look, love— see. ” He was showing her another of the

spider legs that was anchored in the sand, and the barbs on it. Just like the

backward-facing tines of a primitive stone arrowhead.

“These branches are meant to be like this,” Stefan was saying. “And if you pulled

up on it hard enough, you’d just—just end up pulling out chunks of—his heart.”

Elena froze. She wasn’t sure she really could understand the words—she

couldn’t allow herself to, or she might picture it. But it didn’t matter.

“I’ll destroy it some other way,” she said shortly, looking at Stefan but not able to

see the true green of his eyes because of the olive light. “You wait. Just wait and

watch. I’ll find a Wings power that will dissolve this—this— damned abomination. ”

She could think of many other words to call the stake, but she had to stay in some

sort of control.

“Elena.” Stefan whispered her name as if he could barely get it out. Even in the

twilight she could see the tears on his cheeks. He continued, nonverbally, Elena,

look at his closed eyes. This Tree is a vicious killer, with wood like nothing I’ve

ever seen, but I’ve heard about it. It’s…it’s spreading. Inside him.

“Inside him?” Elena repeated stupidly.

Along his arteries and veins—and his nerves—everything connected to his

heart. He’s—oh, God, Elena, just look at his eyes!

Elena looked. Stefan had knelt and gently pulled up the lids of Damon’s eyes and

Elena began screaming.

Deep in the fathomless pupils that had held endless night skies full of stars, there

was a glimmer—not of starlight, but of green. It seemed to glow with its own hellish

luminescence.

Stefan looked at her with agony and compassion. And now, with one gentle pass,

Stefan was closing those eyes—forever, she knew he was thinking.

Everything had become strange and dreamlike. Nothing made sense anymore.

Stefan was carefully laying Damon’s head down—he was letting Damon go.

Even in her fuzzy world of nonsense Elena knew she could never do that.

And then, a miracle happened. Elena heard a voice in her mind that wasn’t hers.

All this is rather unexpected. I acted, for once, without thinking. And this is my

reward. The voice was a hum on their private frequency, Damon’s and hers.

Elena ripped herself away from Stefan, who was trying to restrain her, and fell,

grasping Damon’s shoulders with her hands. I knew it! I knew you couldn’t be

dead!

It was only then that she realized that her face was dripping wet, and she used

her soft leather sleeve to wipe it. Oh, Damon, you gave me such a scare! Don’t

you ever, ever do that again!

I think I can give my word on that, Damon sent—in different tones than his usual

ones—sober but at the same time whimsical. But you have to give me something

in return.

Yes, of course, Elena said. Just let me get some of my hair off my neck. It

worked best like this when Stefan was lying down—when we were carrying him

out on his pallet from the prison—

Not that, Damon told her. For once, angel, I don’t want your blood. I need you to

give me your most solemn word that you will try to be brave. If it helps at all, I

know that females are better than males at this sort of thing. They’re less

cowardly at facing—what you have to face now.

Elena didn’t like the tone of these words. The dizziness that was making her lips

numb was traveling all over her body. There was nothing to be brave about. Damon

could stand pain. She would find a Wings power that would obliterate all that wood

that was poisoning him. It might hurt, but it would save his life.

Don’t talk to me like that! she snapped harshly, before she could remember to

be gentle. Everything had begun to float, and she couldn’t even remember why she

had to be gentle, but there was a reason. Still, it was difficult, when she was using

every ounce of her concentration and strength to search for a Wings power she

had never heard of. Purification? Would that take away the wood or would it just

leave Damon without his wicked smile? There was no harm in trying it, anyway, and

she was getting desperate—because Damon’s face was so pale.

But even the stance for Wings of Purification eluded her.

Suddenly, a huge shudder—a convulsion—went through Damon’s entire body.

Elena heard broken words behind her.

“Love, love—you really have to let him go. He’s living in—in intolerable pain, just

because you’re keeping him here,” the voice said, and it was Stefan’s. Stefan, who

would never lie to her.

For just an instant Elena wavered, but then a blazing rage came rushing up

through her body. It gave her the strength to cry hoarsely, “I… won’t! I won’t ever let

him go! Damn you, Damon, you have to fight! Let me help you! My blood—it’s

special. It’ll give you strength. You drink it!”

She fumbled for her knife. Her blood was magical. Maybe if she gave enough, it

would give Damon the strength to fight off the wooden fibers that were still

spreading through his body.

Elena slashed at her throat. Maybe subconsciously she avoided doing more than

nicking her carotid artery, but if so it was entirely subconsciously. She simply

reached down, found a metal knife, and with one sweep set the blood to gushing

out. Bright red arterial blood, that even in the semi-darkness was the color of hope.

“Here, Damon. Here! Drink this. As much as you want—all you need to heal

yourself.” She got into the best position that she could, hearing but not hearing

Stefan’s horrified gasp behind her at the recklessness of her slashing, not heeding

his grip on her.

But—Damon didn’t drink. Not even the heady blood of his Princess of Darkness

—and how did the phrase go? It was like rocket fuel compared to the gasoline

found in other girls’ veins. Now it just ran out of the sides of his mouth. It flowed

onto his pale face, soaking his black shirt and pooling in his leather jacket.

No…

Damon, Elena sent, please. I’m—begging you. Please. I’m begging you for me,

for Elena. Please drink. We can do this—together.

Damon didn’t move. Blood spilled into the mouth she’d opened and it filled and

spilled out again. It was as if Damon were taunting her, saying, “You wanted me to

give up human blood? Well, I have—forever.”

Oh, dear God, please…

Elena was dizzier than ever now. Outside events passed dimly around her, like

an ocean that only slightly bobbed a person out deep in the swells. She was entirely

focused on Damon.

But one thing she did feel. Her bravery—Damon had been wrong about that.

Huge sobs were rising from somewhere deep inside her. She had made Stefan let

go of her and now she couldn’t hold herself up any longer.

She fell right on top of her blood and Damon’s body. Her cheek fell against his

cheek.

And his cheek was cold. Even under the blood, it was cold.

Elena never knew when the hysterics began. She simply found herself shrieking

and sobbing, beating on Damon’s shoulders, cursing him. She had never properly

cursed him before, not directly to his face. As for the shrieking, that wasn’t just a

sound. She was once again screaming at him to find some way to fight.

And finally, she began the promises. Promises that deep in her heart, she now

knew were lies. She was going to find a way to fix him in a moment. She already felt

a new Wings power coming to save him.

Anything so as to not face the truth.

“Damon? Please?” It was an interlude in the shrieking, when she was talking

softly in her new husky, hoarse voice. “Damon, just do one thing for me. Just

squeeze my hand. I know you can do that. Just squeeze one of my hands.”

But there was no pressure on either of her hands. Only blood that was turning

sticky.

And then the miracle happened and she once again heard Damon’s voice—very

faintly—in her head.

Elena? Don’t…cry, darling. It’s not…as bad as Stefan said. I don’t feel much of

anything, except on my face. I…feel your tears. No more weeping…please,

angel.

Because of the miracle, Elena steadied herself. He’d called Stefan “Stefan” and

not “little brother.” But she had other things to think about right now. He could still

feel things on his face! This was important information, valuable information. Elena

immediately cupped his cheeks with her hands and kissed him on the lips.

I just kissed you. I’m kissing you again. Can you feel that?

Forever, Elena, Damon said. I’ll…take that with me. It’s part of me now…do you

see?

Elena didn’t want to see. She kissed his lips—icy cold—again. And again.

She wanted to give him something else. Something good to think about. Damon,

do you remember when we first met? At school, after the lights went out, when I

was measuring for the Haunted House decorations. I almost let you kiss me then

—before I even knew your name—when you just came drifting out of the

darkness.

Damon surprised her by answering immediately. Yes…and you…you

astonished me by being the first girl I couldn’t Influence right away. We had…fun

together—didn’t we? Some good times? We went to a party…and we danced

together. I’ll take that with me too.

Through her daze, Elena had one thought. Don’t confuse him anymore. They’d

gone to that “party” only to save Stefan’s life. She told him, We had fun. You’re a

good dancer. Imagine us waltzing!

Damon sent slowly, fuzzily, I’m sorry…I’ve been so horrible lately. Tell…her

that. Bonnie. Tell her…

Elena steadied herself. I’ll tell her. I’m kissing you again. Can you feel me

kissing you?

It was a rhetorical question, so she got a shock, when Damon only answered

slowly and sleepily. Did I…take a vow to tell you the truth?

Yes, Elena lied instantly. She needed the truth from him.

Then…no, to be honest…I can’t. I don’t seem to have…a body now. It’s

comfortable and warm, and nothing hurts anymore. And—I almost feel as if I’m

not alone. Don’t laugh.

You’re not alone! Oh, Damon, don’t you know that? I’ll never, ever let you be

alone. Elena choked, wondering how to make him believe her. Just for a few more

seconds…now.

Here, she sent in a telepathic whisper, I’ll give you my precious secret. I’ll never

tell anyone else. Do you remember the motel we stayed in on our road trip, and

how everyone—even you—wondered what happened that night?

A…motel? A road trip? He was sounding very unsure now. Oh…yes. I

remember. And…the next morning—wondering.

Because Shinichi took your memories, Elena said, hoping that hateful name

would revivify Damon. But it didn’t. Like Shinichi, Damon was done with the world

now.

Elena leaned her cheek against his cold and bloody one. I held you, darling, just

like this—well, almost like this. All night. That was all you wanted, to not feel

alone.

There was a long pause and Elena began to panic in the few parts of her that

were not numb or already hysterical. But then the words came slowly to her.

Thank you…Elena. Thank you…for telling me your precious secret.

Yes, and I’ll tell you something even more precious. No one is alone. Not

really. No one is ever alone.

You’re with me…so warm…nothing to worry about anymore…

Nothing more, Elena promised him. And I’ll always be with you. No one is alone;

I promise it.

Elena…things are beginning to feel strange now. Not pain. But I have to tell

you…what I know you already know…. How I fell in love with you…you’ll

remember, won’t you? You won’t forget me?

Forget you? How could I ever forget you?

But Damon was speaking on and suddenly Elena knew that he couldn’t hear her,

not even by telepathy anymore.

Will you remember? For me? Just that…I loved once—just once, really, in my

whole life. Can you remember that I loved you? That makes my life…worth…

something… His voice faded.

Elena was so dizzy now. She knew she was still losing blood fast. Too fast. Her

mind was not sharp. And she was suddenly shaken by a fresh storm of sobbing. At

least she would never yell again—there was no one to yell at. Damon had gone

away. He had run away without her.

She wanted to follow. Nothing was real. Didn’t he understand? She could not

imagine a universe, no matter how many dimensions there were, without a Damon

in it. There was no world for her, if there was no Damon.

He couldn’t do this to her.

Neither knowing nor caring what she was doing, she plunged deep, deep into

Damon’s mind, wielding her telepathy like a sword, slashing at the wooden

connections that she found everywhere. And, at last, she found herself plunging

into the very deepest part of him…where a little boy, the metaphor for Damon’s

unconscious, had once been loaded with chains and set to guard the great stone

that Damon kept his feelings locked in.

Oh, God, he must be so frightened, she thought. Whatever the cost, he must not

be allowed to go away frightened….

Now she saw him. The child-Damon. As always, she could see in the sweetly

rounded face, the sharp-cheekboned young man that Damon would become, in the

wide black eyes, the potential for his look of fathomless darkness.

But although he was not smiling, the child’s look was open and welcoming, in a

way that Damon’s older self had never been. And the chains…the chains were

gone. The great stone was gone too.

“I knew you’d come,” the boy whispered, and Elena took him into her arms.

Easy, Elena told herself. Easy. He’s not real. He’s what’s left of Damon’s mind,

the deepest part of his hindbrain. But still, he’s even younger than Margaret, and

he’s just as soft and warm. No matter what, please God, don’t let him know what’s

really happening to him.

But there was knowledge in the wide, dark child eyes that turned up to her face.

“I’m so glad to see you,” he confided. “I thought that I might never talk to you again.

And— he —you know—he left some messages with me. I don’t think he could say

anything more, so he sent them to me.”

Elena understood. If there was anywhere the wood had not reached, it was into

this last part of the brain, the most primitive part. Damon still could speak to her—

through this infant.

But before she could speak herself, she saw that there were tears in the child’s

eyes and then his body spasmed and he bit his lip very hard—to keep from crying

out, she guessed.

“Does it hurt?” she asked, trying to believe that it didn’t. Desperate to believe it.

“Not so much.” But he was lying, she realized. Still, he hadn’t shed any tears. He

had his pride, this child-Damon.

“I have a special message for you,” he said. “He told me to tell you that he’ll

always be with you. And that you’re never alone. That no one is really alone.”

E lena clutched the child to her. Damon had understood, even in his dazed and

confused state. Everyone was connected. No one was alone.

“And he asked something else. He asked if you would hold me, just like this—if I

got sleepy.” Velvety dark eyes searched Elena’s face. “Would you do that?”

Elena tried to keep steady. “I’ll hold you,” she promised.

“And you won’t let go ever?”

“And I won’t let go ever,” Elena told him, because he was a child, and there was

no point in frightening him if he had no fear. And because maybe this part of

Damon—this small, innocent part—would have some kind of “forever.” She had

heard that vampires didn’t come back, didn’t reincarnate the way humans did. The

vampires in the top Dark Dimension were still “alive”—adventurers or fortuneseekers,

or condemned there as a prison by the Celestial Court.

“I’ll hold you,” Elena promised again. “Forever and ever.”

Just then his small body went into another spasm, and she saw tears on his dark

eyelashes, and blood on his lip. But before she could say a word, he added, “I have

more messages. I know them by heart. But”—his eyes begged her forgiveness—“I

have to give them to the others.”

What others? Elena thought at first, bewildered. Then she remembered. Stefan

and Bonnie. There were other loved ones.

“I can…tell them for you,” she said hesitantly, and he gave a tiny smile, his first,

just the corner of one lip up.

“He left me a little telepathy, too,” he said. “I kept it in case I had to call to you.”

Still fiercely independent, Elena thought. All she said was, “You go ahead, then.”

“The first one is for my brother, Stefan.”

“You can tell him in just a moment,” Elena said. She held on to the small boy in

Damon’s soul, knowing that this was the last thing she had left to give him. She

could sacrifice a few priceless seconds, so that Stefan and Bonnie could say their

own good-byes. She made some sort of enormous adjustment to her real body—

her body outside Damon’s mind, and found herself opening her eyes, blinking and

trying to focus.

She saw Stefan’s face, white and stricken. “Is he—?”

“No. But soon. He can hear telepathy, if you think clearly, as if you were

speaking. He asked to talk to you.”

“To me?” Stefan bent down slowly and put his cheek against his brother’s. Elena

shut her eyes again, guiding him down through the darkness to where one small

light was still shining. She felt Stefan’s wonder as he saw her there, still holding the

little dark-haired boy in her arms.

Elena hadn’t realized that through her link to the child, she would be able to hear

every word spoken. Or that Damon’s messages would come in the words of a

child.

The little boy said, “I guess you think I’m pretty stupid.”

Stefan started. He’d never seen or heard the child-Damon before. “I could never

think that,” he said slowly, marveling.

“But it wasn’t much like… him, you know. Like… me. ”

“I think,” Stefan said unsteadily, “that it’s terribly sad—that I never really knew

either of you very well.”

“Please don’t be sad. That’s what he told me to say. That you shouldn’t be sad…

or afraid. He said it’s a little bit like going to sleep, and a little bit like flying.”

“I’ll…remember that. And—thank you—big brother.”

“I think that’s all. You know to watch over our girls….” There was another of the

terrible spasms that left the child breathless. Stefan spoke quickly.

“Of course. I’ll take care of everything. You fly.”

Elena could feel the grief slash at Stefan’s heart, but his voice was calm. “Fly

away now, my brother. Fly away.”

Elena felt something through the link—Bonnie touching Stefan’s shoulder. He

quickly got up so that she could lie down. Bonnie was almost hysterical with

sobbing, but she had done a good thing, Elena saw. While Elena had been in her

own little world with Damon, Bonnie had taken a dagger and cut off a long lock of

Elena’s hair. Then she had cut one of her own strawberry curls, and placed the

locks—one wavy and golden, one curling and red-blond—on Damon’s chest. It was

all they could do on this flowerless world to honor him, to be with him forever.

Elena could hear Bonnie, too, through her link with Damon, but at first all Bonnie

could do was sob, “Damon, please! Oh, please! I didn’t know—I never thought—

that anyone would get hurt! You saved my life! And now—oh, please! I can’t say

good-bye!”

She didn’t understand, Elena thought, that she was talking to a very young child.

But Damon had sent the child a message to repeat.

“I’m supposed to tell you good-bye, though.” For the first time the child looked

uneasy. “And—and I’m supposed to tell you ‘I’m sorry,’ too. He thought you’d know

what that meant and you’d forgive me. But…if you don’t…I don’t know what will

happen—oh!”

Another of the hateful spasms went through the child. Elena held on to him hard,

biting her own lip until the blood came; at the same time trying to shield the little boy

completely from her own feelings. And deep in Damon’s mind, she saw Bonnie’s

expression change, from tearful penance to astonished fear to careful control. As

if Bonnie had grown up all in an instant.

“Of course—of course I understand! And I forgive you—but you haven’t done

anything wrong. I’m such a silly girl—I…”

“ We don’t think you’re a silly girl,” the child said, looking vastly relieved. “But thank

you for forgiving me. There’s a special name I’m supposed to call you, too—but

I…” He sank back against Elena. “I guess—I’m…getting sleepy…”

“Was it ‘redbird’?” Bonnie asked carefully, and the little boy’s pale face lit up.

“That was it. You knew already. You’re all…so nice and so smart. Thank you…

for making it easy…But can I say one more thing?”

Elena was about to answer, when abruptly she was jarred completely out of

Damon’s mind and back into reality. The Tree had slammed down another spider’s

leg set of branches, trapping them and Damon’s body between two circles of

wooden bars.

Elena had no plans. No idea how to get to the star ball that Damon had died for.

Either the Tree was intelligent, or it was wired to have such efficient defenses that

it might as well have been. They were lying on the evidence that many, many people

had tried for that star ball—and left behind their bones ground to sand.

Come to that, she thought, I wonder why it hasn’t gone for us, too—especially for

Bonnie. She’s been in, and then out, and back in again, which I should never have

let her do except that we were all thinking about Damon. Why didn’t it go for her

again?

Stefan was trying to be strong, trying to organize something out of this disaster

that was so stunning that Elena herself simply sat. Bonnie was sobbing again,

making heart-wrenching sounds.

Between both circular sets of bars a wooden network was spreading—too closeknit

for even Bonnie to squeeze through. Elena’s group was efficiently separated