Read the text. THE ART OF ASKING QUESTIONS[11]

THE ART OF ASKING QUESTIONS [11]

I he world is full of questions... good questions, silly questions, important questions, and offensive questions. Questions can build rapport and trust or foster sus­picion and dislike. Questions can open up a conversation or slam it closed. Questions can generate information or send the con­versation shooting off on a tangent. Questions are the heart of communication. They pump fresh life into conversations.

Asking good questions is particularly important in organi­zations where working together to achieve a common purpose depends upon the members of the organizations understanding each other clearly. Asking questions about how things are done, why they're done, who's responsible for doing them, or when they're due form the basis of organizational effectiveness. Imagine launching a new product, putting together a budget, improving a process, implementing a new policy, or reviewing employee performance without asking questions. The Information Age couldn't exist without questions.

Because questions are so important, our education system takes great pains to teach us the fine art of asking ques­tions.... No?... Why not? Probably because the average three-year-old asks 4.2 questions per minute. Everyone assumes we know all we need to know about asking questions by the time we learn what a question mark is. After all, isn't that what a question is, a group of words followed by a question mark? That may be the definition of a question but comparing that to the art of asking questions is like saying that if you can spell "car," you're ready for the Indy 500.

Being able to ask the right question at the right time is a critical piece of the communication process.

 

WHY DO WE ASK QUESTIONS?

The standard response to that question is "Because we want to know something." But questioning has a much richer payoff than just information transfer. There's an old (but apparently true) story about a salesman who was scheduled to appear on the Johnny Carson show. As he was sitting in the green room, the producer came in and started asking him about his approach to sales. The producer, stubbornly skeptical, finally demanded: "Well, then, sell me something!" The salesman looked around the room and spied a large ashtray on the table. The following con­versation occurred:

Salesman: Do you like that ashtray?

Producer: Yeah, sure.

Salesman: What do you like about it?

Producer: Well, it's big enough to hold all the ashes of the people who come through here every day.

Salesman: What else do you like about it?

Producer: Well, it's a nice color and it matches the decor in here. Salesman: How much do you think an ashtray like this is worth to you?

Producer: I don't know... maybe $20.

Salesman: Sold!

With just a few questions, the salesman was able to find out why the producer would buy the ashtray and what price he would be willing to pay for it. While sales aren't always this easy, the story illustrates how powerful questions are as a tool for getting in­formation. In fact, questions are the heart of any information-gathering process. But they can also be used for many other reasons. Here are just a few of the reasons we ask questions:

To gain information —information transfer depends on questions. Who, what, where, when, why, how, how much are all staples of information gathering.

To stimulate conversation —imagine attending a social function where no one could ask a question! No: How are you? Have you heard...? Did you see...? Can you believe...? What do you think..? It would be a pretty strange gathering.

To gain the other's views —when you need to know what someone else is thinking, ask. What do you think about...? Can you tell me how you feel about...?

To check agreement —what does the other person think about what you have discussed? Do you think we're on the right track? Can you support this decision? Are we in agreement? Do you have any objections? How does this sound to you?

To build rapport and trust —rapport and trust are built by showing support for the other person's goals and objec­tives. How can I help you? What can I do to help you meet your objectives? What would you like to accomplish? Tell me about your goals/dreams/objectives.

To verify information —sometimes what you hear is not what was meant. Asking for feedback is a critical part of the communication process. Did I understand you to mean...? Can I summarize this as...?