Conflict in the modern world

These days, the type of threats we usually experience are not physical threats but psychological ones. There are threats to our self–esteem, threats to relationships we value, and threats to our success. Many people also experience a sense of threat when they encounter conflict or a problem that seems unsolvable.

Conflict is often best understood by examining the consequences of various behaviors at moments in time. These behaviors are usefully categorized according to conflict styles. Each style is a way to meet one's needs in a dispute but may impact other people in different ways.

· Competing is a style in which one's own needs are advocated over the needs of others. It relies on an aggressive style of communication, low regard for future relationships, and the exercise of coercive power. Those using a competitive style tend to seek control over a discussion, in both substance and ground rules. They fear that loss of such control will result in solutions that fail to meet their needs. Competing tends to result in responses that increase the level of threat.

· Accommodating, also known as smoothing, is the opposite of competing. Persons using this style yield their needs to those of others, trying to be diplomatic. They tend to allow the needs of the group to overwhelm their own, which may not ever be stated, as preserving the relationship is seen as most important.

· Avoiding is a common response to the negative perception of conflict. " Perhaps if we don't bring it up, it will blow over, " we say to ourselves. But, generally, all that happens is that feelings get pent up, views go unexpressed, and the conflict festers until it becomes too big to ignore. Like a cancer that may well have been cured if treated early, the conflict grows and spreads until it kills the relationship. Because needs and concerns go unexpressed, people are often confused, wondering what went wrong in a relationship.

· Compromising is an approach to conflict in which people gain and give in a series of tradeoffs. While satisfactory, compromise is generally not satisfying. We each remain shaped by our individual perceptions of our needs and don't necessarily understand the other side very well. We often retain a lack of trust and avoid risk-taking involved in more collaborative behaviors.

· Collaborating is the pooling of individual needs and goals toward a common goal. Often called " win-win problem-solving, " collaboration requires assertive communication and cooperation in order to achieve a better solution than either individual could have achieved alone. It offers the chance for consensus, the integration of needs, and the potential to exceed the " budget of possibilities" that previously limited our views of the conflict. It brings new time, energy, and ideas to resolve the dispute meaningfully.

3. Answer the questions:

What are the psychological needs of humans that can cause conflicts?

What are the conflict styles?

What are the consequences of competing?

Does it mean we might force the others to accept ‘our‘ solution?

What may the acceptance of ’our’ solution be accompanied by? (fear and resentment)

What are the consequences of accomodating?

May the relationship proceed smoothly?

Is it accompanied by fear that our needs are going unmet?

What are the consequences of compromising?

What is its disadvantage?

Do we harbor resentments in the future?

What are the consequences of collaborating?

Do we feel better about our chances for future understanding and woodwill than a compromise?

What are the consequences of avoiding to discuss the conflict?

Are both parties satisfied with the real underlying issues and concerns?

4. Match the following words with the translation:

to encounter– подавить

to impact– сдерживать, подавлять

to yield– томится, гнить

to advocate– воздействовать

to overwhelm– сталкиваться

to retain– поддерживать

to pent up– отстаивать

coercive– положительный

assertive– принудительный

smoothing– восприятие

collaboration– объединение

tradeoff– дела

concerns– компромисс, соглашение

pool– сотрудничество

perception– сглаживание

to fester– уступать