U.N. SurveyLast month, a survey was conducted by the U.N. worldwide. The question asked was, “Please give your honest opinion about the solution to the food shortage in the rest of the world?” Here is the response: a. In Africa they did not know what “food” meant. b. In Western Europe they did not know what “shortage” meant. c. In Eastern Europe they did not know what “opinion” meant. d. In the Middle East they did not know what “solution” meant. e. In South America they did not know what “please” meant. f. In Asia they did not know what “honest” meant. g. In the USA they did not know what “the rest of the world” meant. “Only because we believe we are separate do our needs seem to conflict.” Paul Ferrini (from his book – From Ego to Self).
Case #6 Peggy’s Expectations An instructor, Peggy, arrived in Seoul to teach English for a year. She cleared customs and waited for her new employer to pick her up. The man finally drove up and helped her with her bags. The employer remarked that it was a four-hour ride to the campus, and they drove off. Peggy thought she was going to work in Seoul at a major university. Instead she ended up at a junior college in the hinterlands. Shown her living quarters, she was amazed to see that she would be living in a one-room apartment with the bathroom down the hall and a community cooking area. Her office turned out to be a desk in a room shared with the other faculty. She found the whole situation unsatisfactory but didn’t know what to do.
Case #7 Central Asia’s Magic Bus Ride Here is something chock full of educational and cultural value – my keen observations on how to ride a bus, the main form of public transportation in the former USSR.
The procedure for riding the bus is best laid out in the following set of easy to follow steps: 1) You go sit at the bus stop. If you aren’t in a big hurry to get to your destination, your bus will usually come fairly quick. If you are in a hurry, you can bet that every other bus in town will come over by your bus stop except the one that you need. You can also be sure that yours will be the only one jammed so full of people that their faces are pressed against the glass. 2) When your bus (in my case, lucky #18) comes by, you wait until it pulls up, and then wait for the passengers who are getting off to ‘de-bus’. Once they do, you are welcome to board, and as you get on, you search madly for an empty seat. You must make it apparent that you are searching madly for an empty seat or you will immediately be picked up as a novice (i.e., an American). 3) If you should be so blessed as to find an actually empty seat, you first make sure that no babushkas (old ladies) are interested in the seat, as well as any old guys. (Old guys in the former USSR are easy to spot. They are always wearing ten to fifteen medals from their glory days in the military. They are also always keeping their eyes open for a hot babushka.) The old folks always want the seats by the doors, so it is wise not to sit in empty seats there. You will only be expected to give it up at one of the next stops anyhow, since there are always babushkas. ALWAYS. (I think they ride buses the way American babushkas walk around the malls: no particular place to go, but an opportunity to get out of the house.) 4) Once you have secured a seat, or have staked out a standing place (you’d better hold on to that ceiling rail. Trust me on this.), you immediately assume the position that you have been on the bus now for hours, and, of course, you’ve paid the fare already. I don’t know why you do this, but I have observed this in nearly every passenger I have watched, so it must be part of the procedure. 5) The reason why step #4 is necessary is because there are these little people on the buses whose job is to pay attention to the new people who board, and seek them out for the fare (normally about 15 tenge, or ten cents). These fare people are normally pretty benign. You hardly even notice them. Sometimes it is frightening, how they seem just to materialize in front of you, holding a handful of tenge and a roll of tickets. 6) This step is quite important. You MUST look annoyed that the fare collectors have bothered you for this pitiful little amount. Even if you are only carrying 15 tenge, be sure to present the attitude that you could buy and sell them and this pitiful little bus from the 1970’s. NEVER SMILE at them or say “spaciba” (thank you). They will most definitely blow your cover as a novice, and they will probably mock you and make you cry. 7) Once you have completed the financial transaction, you simply settle into the ride to your destination. Don’t smile at people, don’t make idle conversations with strangers, and if you are riding with friends you must speak very softly with bowed heads. It is quite strange. It’s as if you are not just riding a bus to the market or to work, but it is like a bus ride to holy relic and you must be in a state of meditation and/or prayer. It is important to note that this is usually the step that gives novices away, especially if they are riding in groups of two or more. If the novices are from the US, it is almost impossible for them to abide by this step, and they will immediately fill the bus with their cackling and gibbering. This causes the local riders (especially the babushkas) no small amount of angst, which is apparent from their faces. It’s as if you are desecrating their holy pilgrimage to the market to buy sacred cheese and carrots. 8) You must always prepare to ‘de-bus’ at least two or three stops away from your stop. To do this, you simply go stand by the exit of your choice, and look pensive. If the bus-driver looks in his rearview mirror and doesn’t see anyone looking pensive, he may just skip the stop, causing you to sit on the bus and ride for hours, waiting for your stop once more. 9) When the bus screeches to halt, use the sharp points of your elbow to knock everyone out of the way, and ‘de-bus’ as quickly, as you can. Otherwise the bus driver will close the doors on your arms, and your ride to the next stop will be somewhat uncomfortable. This is, however, preferable to the possibility of getting off the bus with untied shoelaces, and having one get caught in the closing doors. 10) Repeat steps 1-9 again every day.
(We’d like to thank Nathan Fleming for his bus article and now perhaps some of you will brave the public transport system and try it out for yourself!)
Case #8
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