BODY SPACE AND BODY TOUCH

People keep a distance between themselves and the person they are speaking to. It is called a “social distance”. People from different cultures handle space in very different ways. In the U.S., people generally stand “at arm’s length” (about 30 inches) away from a person they are talking to. Only family members, small children, and sweethearts come closer. On the other hand, people from Japan, China, and some northern European countries stand farther away (36 inches). To those people, Americans seem to “get too close”. And to Americans, those other people seem “cold” and distant.

For two unacquainted North American adult males, for example the comfortable distance to stand for conversation is about two feet apart. The South American likes to stand much closer, which creates problems when a South American and a North American meet face to face. The South American who moves in to what is to him a proper talking distance may be considered “pushy” by the North American; and the North American may seem standoffish to the South American when he backs off to create a gap of the size that seems right to him.

Once a conversation was watched between a Latin and a North American that began at one end of a forty-foot hall and eventually wound up at the other end, the pair progressing by an almost continual series of small backward steps on the part of the North American and an equal closing of the gap by the Latin American.

Chinese do many more touches than Americans. It is quite usual for the Chinese to walk hand in hand between the same sex. But in America, friends with the same sex never keep such a close distance. Such kind of behavior is considered homosexual in the west and is strongly disgusted. Many Chinese like to fondle the babies and very small children to show their friendliness or affection. However, such actions like touching, patting, hugging or kissing, can be quite embarrassing and awkward for the western mothers, these behaviors would be considered rude and offensive in their eyes and could arouse a strong dislike.

Various cultures have their own customs of different distance that make their people feel comfortable in personal conversation situations. Participants should understand these to fewer the unnecessary misunderstanding in communication.

The way human beings space themselves may be determined not only by their culture and the particular relationships involved, but by other factors as well. Studies have shown that when two people expect to compete, they will usually sit opposite one another; expecting to cooperate, they sit side by side; while for ordinary conversation, they sit at right angles. When negotiators from two corporations hold a meeting, the teams may automatically line up facing one another across the conference table. However, if the meeting is adjourned for lunch, the men are likely to sit in alternating chairs at the restaurant tables, each negotiator sandwiched between two men from the other corporation.

At a crowded cocktail party, people necessarily stand closer together to talk, and experiments indicate that they also stand closer in a public place, such as a park or on the street. Psychological studies have shown that people choose to stand closer to someone they like than to someone they don’t; that friends stand closer than acquaintances do, and acquaintances closer together than strangers. The evidence also indicates that, in intimate situations, introverts maintain slightly greater distances than extroverts, and that pairs of women stand closer to talk than do pairs of men.

People from different cultures have very different feelings about hugging and touching. Some Americans may touch the arm of the person they are talking to while they are speaking. A man may gently

slap another man on the back when greeting him. Many Americans hug their family members and good friends when they greet them or say good-bye. However, some Americans do not enjoy being hugged in public. There is a great variety of feelings about hugging strangers. Some people will warmly hug a new person they are introduced to. Others may take a long time before they give a friend a hug when they say hello or good-bye. People from south if America or southern Europe frequently touch the person they are speaking to. They touch on the arm, hand, or shoulder. People from Japan seldom touch at all when speaking to others. A hug, a touch, or standing close may mean nothing special to one person. It can mean romance to a second person. And it can be offensive to a third person.

Americans say that hugs are good and four hugs a day is a requirement for good health. Six is better, and eight is best. However, a hug from someone you don’t wish to hug is not welcome.