ONE-DIMENSIONAL ADAPTING

 

Sometimes you may want to adapt your communication style but you're not sure what style the other person has. Even if you only know where he or she falls on one of the dimensions (Direct/ Indirect; Supporting/Controlling) you can move in that direction and improve your communication effectiveness.

 

Increasing Directness:If the person is Direct (moves and speaks quickly; readily expresses thoughts and feelings), you can increase the directness of your communication by the following:

 

- Speaking at a faster pace

- Initiating conversations and decisions

- Giving recommendations and not asking for opinions

- Using direct statements rather than roundabout questions

- Communicating with a strong, confident voice

- Challenging and tactfully disagreeing when appropriate

- Facing conflict openly but not initiating it

- Increasing eye contact

 

Increasing Indirectness: If the person is Indirect (moves and speaks more slowly; is cautious in expressing personal thoughts and feelings and in making decisions), you can increase your Indirectness by the following:

 

- Talking and making decisions more slowly

- Seeking and acknowledging the opinions of others

- Sharing decision-making and leadership

- Showing less energy; being more "mellow"

- Not interrupting

- Providing pauses to allow the other person to speak

- Refraining from criticizing, challenging, or acting pushy

- Choosing words carefully when disagreeing

Increasing Supportingness:If the person is Support­ing (motivated by relationships and feelings), you can increase your Supportingness by the following:

 

- Sharing your feelings and letting your emotions show

- Responding to the expression of others' feelings

- Paying personal compliments

- Taking time to develop the relationship

- Using friendly language

- Communicating more, loosening up, and standing closer

- Being willing to digress from the agenda, going with the flow

 

Increasing Controllingness: If the person is Con­trolling motivated by the task at hand and accomplishing goals), you can increase your Controllingness by the following:

 

- Getting right to the task or the bottom line

 

- Maintaining more of a logical, factual orientation

- Keeping to the agenda

- Leaving when the work is done; not wasting time

- Not initiating physical contact

- Downplaying enthusiasm and body movement

- Using businesslike language