B) A Foreigner Visits New York City and Has to Ask His Way Around

I'm sorry, sir. I'm trying to find my way to Co­lumbia University. Can you direct me? This is my first time in New York City. (Passer-byу looking bewildered.) Let's see! Colum­bia University? That's in the Bronx, isn't it? – I haven't the faintest idea. The only thing I know is that someone told me it was "uptown". Yeah! That's right. It's in the Bronx. Well, you take the subway here. There's a station on the next cor­ner. You have to walk downstairs and take the uptown train. — Do I just take any train that comes along?

— No, you'd better take an express. Otherwise you'll be all day getting there. But I don't know which train you ought to take. I'm not too well acquaint­ed with this West Side subway. You see, I live on the East Side and I always use the Lexington Av­enue subway.

— I understand.

— In fact I'm almost a stranger in New York myself. I've only been here about six months. Maybe you really ought to ask someone else. I don't want to direct you wrong. But I'm pretty sure Columbia University is in the Bronx.

— Thank you very much, sir. (To next person pass­ing by.) I beg your pardon, sir, but could you tell me how to get to Columbia University?

— Sorry, friend, I'm from out of town myself.

— Thank you. (Going up to a man standing outside of a small store.) I beg your pardon. I'm trying to get to Columbia University. Can you tell me what subway or what bus I should take to get there?

— Columbia University? Let's see. That's uptown somewhere near Broadway — about 180 Street or maybe around 205 Street.

— How do I get there?

— Wait a minute. I'll find out. (Goes into a small store, comes out after a few minutes.) Columbia Univer­sity is at 116 Street and Broadway. I knew it was somewhere up around that section. I've got a cous­in who goes to school there.

— Should I take the subway?

— You can take the subway. You can also take the Broadway bus but... No, this bus only goes to 42-nd Street and then turns up Seventh Avenue.

You could also walk over to Fifth Avenue bus. Still, there are so many different buses on Fifth Ave­nue you might get on the wrong one. Maybe you'd better take the subway after all. What train do I take? I ask for a train for the Bronx — is that correct?

The Bronx? The Bronx is way over on the East Side. You're going uptown on the West Side. You take any uptown train. But be careful. Some of those trains turn off at 96th Street and go over towards Harlem. You'd better ask the fellow in the change booth exactly what train to take. Just tell him you want to go to Columbia University. Thank you very much.